“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed.
You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
― Mr. Darcy
― Mr. Darcy
The Date
June 1, 2012
I vowed not to discuss making wedding plans with V until July (we were engaged in May). I do make sure, however, to call him fiancé every single day because I love the reaction I get from him. He playfully moans as though it physically hurts to be engaged to me. It's not like I've put (much) pressure on him about getting married. But I really, really, really don't want to be what we call an 'old bride'. I want to look young and thin and happy in my wedding photos. Not wrinkled, tired and pissed off. We've been together for seven years, have been shacked up for the last five, and we have a house full of kids (3 combined). Tick-Tock, am I right?
Now that we're engaged, EVERYONE is demanding that I give them a date. Considering that we are most likely planning a Destination Wedding, I understand their concern. But can't I just enjoy being engaged for a little while? And the only way for us to enjoy being engaged is to not talk about wedding planning. Ironic isn't it? The thing is, the idea of planning my wedding is freaking me out! There is so much to do! I already have a hectic schedule. I'm going to have to just take this whole thing in stride because I really want to try to enjoy it every step of the way - right up to the alter (or gazebo, or ocean, or whatever we decide to do).
July 3, 2012
It's July! That means wedding planning time. We spent the weekend at the beach relaxing and it was a perfect time to talk wedding details. We are thinking September 2013 or Spring 2014. I realized during our no talking wedding period that my age deadline was sort of silly, so I gave him the option to push the date out a bit to take off some pressure - I'm awfully nice aren't I? That's why he loves me I guess. I'll be 37 if we wait until 2014, but I'm over it - V was nice enough to point out that I don't look my age and nobody will think of me as an old bride. We have also agreed to look at local venues which was at my request. See how we are compromising - it's so impressive thus far. The destination wedding was his idea and I've never been entirely on board with it.July 16, 2012
Dec 26, 2012
We are just about there - putting the deposit down for Sept 6th, 2013. It's a Friday. A Friday wedding is not the most convenient, but it's less expensive. I also decided, because it's a Friday, I'm not going to have a sit down dinner, but a late ceremony, and tons of H'or Douerves and a late night snack bar, open bar of course, as well. Removing the table seating, wedding favours, and all that fussy stuff, makes me look forward to planning my wedding again.
The Music
Diamond Ring www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g29MRQxuFMCouldn't you just eat him for breakfast? Just look at that chest hair... It's okay, Vic is aware of my love for The Jovi and he approves of the song as it is so frigging lovely and accoustic-y.
FIRST DANCE There is this amazing band from out East called The Once who have a cover of Queen's "You're My Best Friend". It is so sweetly done and we are both a fan. I think it would be better than 'our song' which is BAD TIMING by Blue Rodeo :) The Once - You're My Best Friend
The Scale
I don't have a wedding date yet to lose weight by, but I do have a high School Reunion next summer - I'm not sure which is more motivating!! I've already lost 15 or so since January. Another 19 to go and I'll be happy. I'm not posting my actual weight yet, so don't ask :)
June 15th - Lost 2 pounds this week! 17 more to go!
June 18th - Gained 0.5 over the weekend. It was totally worth it.June 20th - Ate 2, seriously 2 chocolate bars yesterday! The label said EatMore, so I did!
Aug 30th - This is not good.
Sept 19 - Not any better.
Dec 26 - I stopped weighing myself.
The Vows
When we were falling in love, V took my hand from across the table, looked into my eyes and said, "You have such a good heart. I want to take care of you." Romantic right? Well, I burst out laughing!! It was the silliest thing I'd ever heard. I don't need anyone to take care of me! When I told my friend C about it the next day, we both busted a gut over it! Oh how foolish was I....
Here are my vows to Victor:
You told me a long time ago that you wanted to take care of me. I didn't understand then what that meant, but I do now. You are always there for me when I need you. You are my partner in life. You make me laugh, you make me live, and you make me happy. You are my best friend. You take care of me. I vow to love you until the end of my days.
I decided to have my two step-daughters as my only bridesmaids. They are lovely girls, and V will have my son stand up with him. I've been a bridesmaid many, many, many times, and I just want a small wedding party now that it's my turn. Great idea right? I thought so, but one of my fiends is insisting that she be a bridesmaid. I'm putting a pin in that for now. I was supposed to be her bridesmaid years ago, but I was a big fat whale (pregnant) on the day of her wedding and gave up my dress months earlier to a backup bridesmaid (ouch for her). Anyway if I have that one freind, then I have to have all my other close friends and that will bring me to SIX Bridesmaids! The idea of six Bridesmaids is just too much for me, personally. Dec 26, 2012
Now V wants his girls to stand with him and my son to stand with me. That's OK actually, it feels more comfortable to have my son by my side. If he was on the other side, I'd constantly be making gestures at him to pay attention or worrying if he is uncomfortable.
The Colour Scheme
Orange is my favourite colour. My car is orange, my curtains are orange. I'm sure everyone will be expecting me to have orange in my wedding. Maybe I'll surprise them and go with pink.
I fell in love with a blush colour dress - Now I'm thinking pinks and browns...which can still work for fall and with a vintage theme.
Also loving a silver dress - silvers and pinks - will have to make it a winter wedding in that case :)
Really there are so many options, I can't decide. I need to decide on a venue before I choose the style and colour of my dress, then, and only then, can I decide on a theme and start rollin' with it.
I decided to hire a gal to help me with the decorations (my friends will help too) but this woman is so good a putting things together, I plan to secure her mostly as a my day of coordinator. I can't trust any of my freinds to be sober enough to handle everything, plus, I just want them to have fun!
Dec 26, 2012
I have my venue and now I can start hunting for my dress again. I'm definately going with browns, creams, and something. I might just go with orange after all if I can find the right shade. A golden orange.
The Dress
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| I tried this on in a blush pink and it is unreal. This might be the one! |
June 14 - I went shopping on my lunch hour with my friend Sandra yesterday. She was looking for a top to wear to a work function that evening. I thought I'd try on some dresses just for fun while I waited for her in the change room. Didn't I find the perfect dress? Doesn't it meet all my requirements? Knee length, not white, suitable for destination wedding, thick straps so I can wear a normal bra. Only one problem. It fits perfectly and I still have 20 pounds to lose - and that was the only size they had.
June 21 - Going shopping with DZ this weekend, I have a feeling I'm going to love every dress I try on. Which is good because that means I'm happy with my body. Since I turned 35, I actually like a lot of things about myself, it's amazing!
July 3rd - Now that we're considering a local venue, I have lots of time to find a dress. And now that the pressure is off, I feel like I can just ask myself what do I really want my wedding dress to be? I love the vintage look, why fight it? I don't really like the other dress as much anymore. Fickle right? Good thing I'm not like that with men (anymore).
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Sophia Tolli
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July 17th, 2012
The more I look around, the more I know I do not want a white dress. They all start to look the same, besides, I'm so pale already that white will make me look like a corpse bride. I never wear white as a general rule because I'm gauranteed to drop food on it. Also, I really want something unique. I want everyone to gasp when I walk into the room, hopefully not out of horror, but surprise. I love the Vera Wang 2013 collection that includes black wedding gowns! Holy crap right? Wow. I'm sure I can't afford any of them anyway and will end up with something off the rack from Sears. All the dresses I like are long and I was hoping for something a little shorter and less formal, but what the heck - I can't wait to start trying on dresses!! Then I'll know more what style I really want.
July 18, 2012
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| How awesome is this dress?! |
I tried on some dresses on my lunch hour today. Fell in love with a very sexy silver Hollywood style dress and a very unique blush pink dress with lace at the top of the bust, blue jewels around the waist, and crinoline peeking out of the front/side of the bottom. It is hard to explain, but it was just stunning! I was happy to find that with all the boning, I don't mind wearing a strapless dress. On a negative note, I have very expensive taste! Uh-oh!!
July 23, 2012I came across a boutique in TO with great prices and unique dresses. Now to find the time to take a Saturday and a freind to go there. But wait! - I found a shop ten minutes from my office that sells the same dresses!! Heading there tomorrow on my lunch. I'm sure you've figured out that I don't do much work at the office. I used to be annoyed by people like me, but now I get it - there's no time left to plan a wedding when you work 8 hours a day! There has to be some overlap, it's unavoidable.
July 30th, 2012 - I tried on the pink and gray dress pictured above and it was really cool, but not wedding appropriate.
Dresses that will work with my venue:
The Face - I have a freind who does great make-up MBM Makeup by Michelle and she has agreed to do mine for the wedding. It relaxes me to know I'm in good hands.
The Hair - Etheral messy elegant. Got it?
The Accessories
The Details
I want to incorporate my Nan's brooch, perhaps on my bouquet. Make sure to move to my purse after ceremony.
Vintage accessories for the girls.
I must have a veil, it will add a lovely sense of occasion (that's a line from Bridget Jones' Diary)
The Theme
If I am to be wed at a winery or at an heritage home (see below), I will definitely go with a vintage theme. I love old things that are worn with age, I tell V that's why I love him so much. If we end up going destination, it will be very casual. I just realized how much I don't want to do a destination wedding - whenever I think of planning for it I get bored and my excitement fades. That settles it - Vintage Wedding for me! Yay!
The Venue
I've had an image of my wedding in my head since I watched the movie Chances Are with Cybill Shepard and Robert Downey Jr., when I was around 11 years old. Weeping Willows and white folding chairs. I found a winery that looks like it could have been used for the wedding scene in that movie! And it's only about an hour away. I also found a really cool historical house and grounds that are even closer to our home. We will be visiting both in the near future, they are definitely our top two. I'm thinking engagement photos at winery if we go with the historical house.
July 12, 2012
We're going to look at our two top picks for venues this weekend!!! We've got the guest list estimated at around 75 people including kiddies. I don't know how I'm going to decide between the two of them! I'll have to make V choose.
July 16, 2012
The winery is out. It's too far out of town and didn't have the wow factor I was hoping for. Springer House is very cool and rustic. We both liked it (I loved it), but V isn't entirely sold on it. I agreed to look around a bit more.
Aug 30th
We still haven't looked at any other venues. There were just too many once we started looking around that it was making me sick. Like tyring to find a vacation spot. The choices become overwhelming and I bow out leaving it to V to decide. That's where I'm at, but my heart is still set on Springer House. I get get all swooney when I think about it. We are supposed to look at a golf course tomorrow - Boring! But it's close to home and has a huge balcony facing onto the woods and not the course, so it's worth checking out.
Dec 26, 2012 - Venue has been selected! Old Springer House it is!
The Reception - Decor
Vintage them and neutral colours.
Oh yes! There will be twinkle lights!
Vintage frames for small signs.
NEW IDEA! Aug 30th
I'm going to ask my friends to choose thier top 5 wedding decorations from pinterest and then decide on which ones I want and get them to help me make! Clever huh?
The Reception - Details
Kids Station & Party favours for kids - funny things like huge glasses and silly stuff? Party favours - cigar holders or hot sauce for men, wine toppers for women?
DJ - Vic is in charge of music list
Lounge Area inside and out
Cruiser tables
Day-of coordinator - Simply Sienna
Seating Sign - As two families are becoming one, we ask that you take a seat and not a side :)
Choose eco-friendly wedding favors such as flower bulbs, seeds, or even small potted flowers or plants. Sign: All things grow with love.
Other Signs
I purchased a frame for the entranceway from a garage sale (now I can't find it of course), it's shabby chic and I thought we could put our names in it or something.
I saw a video that had a sign for the smoking area that read: Cussin' and Smokin' with an arrow. I thought that was cute.
Gift Bags: I want to put together a bag for Victor to open the day of the wedding with a lot of stuff in it to calm his nerves and remind him why he's marrying me.
Choose eco-friendly wedding favors such as flower bulbs, seeds, or even small potted flowers or plants. Sign: All things grow with love.
Other Signs
I purchased a frame for the entranceway from a garage sale (now I can't find it of course), it's shabby chic and I thought we could put our names in it or something.
I saw a video that had a sign for the smoking area that read: Cussin' and Smokin' with an arrow. I thought that was cute.
Gift Bags: I want to put together a bag for Victor to open the day of the wedding with a lot of stuff in it to calm his nerves and remind him why he's marrying me.
PHOTOS
I might hire one of my stepdaughter's photography pals to run a photo booth and include props and the whole 9 nine yards. Will need some sort of lighting and backdrop. I can print out prop moustaches and hats etc to keep with the vintage theme and glue them onto sticks.
I found some awesome disposable cameras, they are vintage looking and very cool. So maybe no booth necessary - but will have a photo props station of some sort anyway because it's an awesome idea. Maybe I can find something really neat and vintage style to use as a background and create a photo area. I like this idea...yes, I do! I can drape tulle to soften the edges. I can visualize it, and I like it! Lattice, maybe I'll use lattice as the backdrop, painted, and add twinkle lights!! Oh fun!
Or I can use wallpaper or printed fabric on a big board with cool vintage frames. Or I can stop being silly and just ask my props department at work what they've got! Email sent and fingers crossed!
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| Mr. & Mrs. Darcy |
The Love Notes- I want to incorporate little sayings somewhere, even if just on a board display. Things like:
I love disliking things with you.
You're pretty great.
You and I are more than friends, we're like a really small gang.
Choose to be happy.
Everybody deserves somebody that makes them look forward to tomorrow.
By the way, I'm wearing that smile you gave me.
When we're together, we think we're cooler than everyone else.
When you're feeling down, I'll be there to feel you up.
I love when you hold my hand while you're driving.
I love you because we hate the same stuff.
You're weird. I like you.
Accept my flaws.
And then my soul saw you and went, "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you!"
The best is yet to come.
Thank you for changing my life.
Thank you for changing my life.
Love me.
...how ardently I admire and love you.
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
I loved you yesterday. I love you still. I always have. I always will.
I loved you yesterday. I love you still. I always have. I always will.
The Save the Date - There will be weeping willows one way or another :) (Ordered a personalized stamp from Vista Print! for return envelopes)
One of my besties is a world renowned card maker and she is going to help me design and make all the cards...although I'd rather just buy them and be done with it, I cannot deprive her of the joy it will bring to make them for me with my help - the ugly ones will be the ones I made, obviously.
The Send Off - Oh yes! Sparklers!
Must remember to include in iterary.
It's May 2014 and we are still not married. V's father was diagnosed with Cancer and we put off the wedding as a result. He is now, sadly, very near the end of his life. As for the wedding, maybe someday...
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