Ready or Not - On Turning Thirty-Five
This is some of what I've learned in my 35 years on this planet:
Moisturize. Don't wait until it's too late! For the love of Pete, Moisturize!
Go Topless. You will be a new woman. Don't do it at work or at the local pool, wait until you're on vacation somewhere where you don't have to see any of those people ever again.
On The One I Love
Mind Games - Use For Good, Not Evil - use them freely to bend people to your will without their consent. It's very rewarding. Guilt trips are equally effective. Apply only when necessary, otherwise they'll catch on.
If You Can't Beat Em' - Even though you may want to slam the toilet seat down on his head some days to get your point across, spousal abuse is frowned upon in our Country. Just accept the fact that your hubby does not meet your sanitary standards and love him for the things that make him great. Like his smile, his strong arms, great hugs, and cute butt. I feel better already.
80s cartoons kind of suck when you compare them to Sponge Bob Square Pants. Although, I will always love Jem, Inspector Gadget, Hercules, and He-Man, they are pretty lame now.
Thank you Facebook. If it wasn't for their wives posts, I would never know what my brothers were up to.
We even got Mom and Dad a computer last year. Now we're all connected!
On Ageing. On Ageing - Did I Just Say That?
Labels: SCRAPPY HAPINESS