Doesn't He Know It's Father's Day?

I often have to remind myself that my Ex is more a part of his son's life than some of the real deadbeat, absent, and abusive fathers out there. I have to remind myself of this because my son tells me that when he's at his Dad's, he mostly gets ignored while sports on TV gets all the attention. As a result, my son spends an irresponsible amount of time playing video games or in front of the computer. I think my Ex might have some sort of clinical antisocial condition (not kidding), but to do that to your own son? That man doesn't know what he's missing out on.

Although my Ex does stack up in other ways, such as never missing a support payment and being in attendance at every soccer game, I'm considering limiting his time with my son since it's time not well spent. He could be with me instead - doing things like conversing, playing cards, going for walks, taking the dog to the dog park. It's not hard to come up with things to do when your kids are with you. Just pay attention to them, that's all they need and it's what they deserve from you.

This year I was more than a little disappointed when he asked me to take our son on his weekend which also fell on Father's Day. He was going out of town for a tournament with his basketball team (he's the assistant coach for a College team). OK, fine. But when I replied back to say, "Don't you know it's Father's Day that weekend?" his response was "And..."

And?!?! Can you believe that? Father's Day isn't just about Dad, it's about the kids getting their chance to shine! To show off what they made or purchased for their hero. To gain praise and go grab a burger or play some one on one. My heart sank. I didn't push the issue, since I had just asked him to dish out for half of all the summer camps I signed our son up for, and what could I say anyway?

Father's Day came around and we took a drive over to see my Ex's Dad to drop off a card. (my parents live too far away). Then we met my fiance, his parents, and his kids at the pub near our house, where we all enjoyed watching a soccer game together. Thank goodness for new beginnings. My son didn't once complain that his Dad wasn't around. He was in pretty good spirits actually, considering.

I make sure that my son knows his Dad loves him when I try to explain that he's just not very good with people, which unfortunately includes him. You can bet that my son will grow up to be a thousand times the father than the one he has. He sometimes talks about all the things he'll do with his future kids, how kind he will be to his future wife, and tries to decide how many future German Sheppard's he will have; I know he'll be OK.

Dads - Want to weigh in? Leave a comment.
Moms - Have you had a similar experience? Want to vent or give me some advice? Leave a comment, I'd be happy to hear about it.

Good luck out there,
JB Pin It

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