How to Get Her Off Your Back and Onto Hers


Diving head first into a serious relationship always seems like a good idea. Your pheromones and hormones are all in agreement that this person, this ravishing, intelligent, sexy, loving woman, is the one.  Eventually reality sets in and after being nagged for the sixth day in a row to put your dirty dishes in the dish washer, you’re asking yourself what happened to that woman that you fell in love with? 
That woman is still there, she just can’t stand you anymore.  Remember, you too where the most amazing creature alive when she fell in love with you.  Now she is only in awe of what a filthy animal you have become.  She is not attracted to you anymore because she is too busy picking your dirty socks and underwear up from the floor wondering why you are too damn lazy to make it the few extra feet to the laundry basket with them.  To sum it up, you disgust her.  She feels like your mother or your maid instead of the princess that all your wooing promised her she’d be.  The way you once lavished affection and attention on her made her think it would be heaven to spend eternity with you.  Instead she is in relationship hell and that is why she has sprouted horns and is always so-called 'nagging' you.
So what happened?  What happened was that you stopped doing all those things you did in the beginning and at the same time you opened her up to the real you.  She does love the real you.  She just doesn’t love him when she’s the one dragging the smelly garbage out to the curb because you ‘forgot’ to do it again before you left for work.
The solution to your problem should be obvious at this point.  Women are not as complicated as they seem…as long as they are kept happy.  Here is a list of things you can do to regain your standing as her knight in shining armour and get a whole lot back in return.
  • Pay the poor girl a compliment, even if her hair and clothes are in tatters from being dragged around the block by the dog.  (The dog that you brought home and somehow she became responsible for.) “Honey, it must be the fresh air, you’re stunning!”
  • Hold the door open for her EVERY TIME.  You’re just a jerk if you don’t.
  • Insist that you carry in all the groceries.  That way you don’t have to worry about putting them away, she’d be happy to.
  • Kiss her at least five times a day.  I know that sound like a lot, but it’s easy. Kiss her good morning, good-bye, hello, one for no reason, and kiss her good night.  Hold all your kissed for six seconds or more. It’s only about a minute out of your life each day to make her feel loved.
  • Be hands-on.  It makes a woman feel sexy to be touched provocatively out of the blue.  It reminds her of the time when you couldn’t keep your hands off her.  So when she’s wiping your whiskers out of the sink (again), sneak up behind her and cop a feel.  Make sure she sees you doing it in the mirror and she’ll spend the next few minutes blushing and smiling…. while cleaning your whiskers out of the sink.
It’s just a matter of being aware of what a nightmare you are to live with and trying to make up for the pathetic excuse for a housemate you are.  The bottom line is that women want to feel loved and not taken for granted.  Don't promise them a fairy tale ending and then treat them like Quasimodo. 

Good luck out there,
JB

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